Leadership: It is not about manipulation

I had an interesting conversation with a long-time friend several months back. I mentioned leadership classes, and he stated, in essence, that he was disenchanted with the word leader and that most of the so-called “leaders” he had come across were anything but. He went so far as to say that whenever he heard the word leader, he replaced it with “manipulator.”

It is sad to hear that.

He explained that he had asked a coworker for a word that meant leader, but would remove the opportunity for someone to use their leadership role for manipulation. The coworker returned a few days later and offered “shepherd.”

I have two things to say about this. The first is that a leader is not a manipulator, or, more accurately, a manipulator is not a leader. That person may have a leadership role or an important title, but that does not make one a leader. The second thought is that the word shepherd does fit much of what a leader should be. A shepherd is defined as “one who guides or directs people or livestock in a particular direction,” which is a leader's biggest role, but not the only one. Furthermore, if one guides or directs, it should be through knowledge and wisdom, not through manipulation.

When I teach management and leadership classes, I point out nine traits of an effective leader. None of them is “A Great Leader Manipulates.” I won’t cover all nine in this blog post, but let’s look at a few of those traits and see how a great leader is the opposite of a manipulator.

Trait number three on the list of nine is: A great leader focuses on the people. This means a leader – or shepherd, if you prefer – cares about building people up through education, training, emotional and physical support, and trust. This approach inspires and motivates, creating a positive and productive work environment. Manipulators, on the other hand, expect action but typically use consequences as a motivator. It is the old story of the carrot and the stick. Either may move the mule, but with proper leadership, one will find that the carrot works better and more consistently.  

Trait number five on the list of nine is: A great leader inspires trust. One of the primary jobs of a true leader is to inspire trust – trust in the leader and trust in the team. This is accomplished by creating an environment of mutual respect, being fair and consistent, being honest with the employees, and being truly open to feedback. Leaders always strive to keep their promises, but on rare occasions when that is not possible, they are open and honest about the reasons.

Trait number seven on the list of nine is: A great leader exhibits integrity. One must start by being honest with oneself and with others. This means being truthful about your strengths, recognizing your weaknesses, and being honest with others about their performance, strengths, and weaknesses. Another way to demonstrate integrity is to be consistent in your words and actions. This means doing what you say you will do, even when difficult. A leader who is consistent in their actions will follow through on their promises and commitments. There is also a strong moral component in integrity. A great leader will stand up for their beliefs and speak out against injustice or wrongdoing. They are willing to take risks to make a difference. And finally, integrity is admitting when you are wrong. When you make a mistake, own it, be honest, and take steps to correct it.

And trait eight in the list of nine: A great leader builds great leaders. Business leadership undergoes turnover every 8 to 10 years. A great leader is always engaged in identifying and preparing someone to take their place. Leadership is a skill that can be taught and acquired. While certain desired personality traits, like charisma, may not come naturally to everyone, other leadership qualities, such as knowledge, earned trust, integrity, ethical behavior, clear vision, and effective communication, can be developed. Some managers ask, "Why should I invest in these employees when they just leave after training them?" With such a dismissive attitude, can one truly be surprised when employees seek other opportunities?

I have never personally known a sheep-tending shepherd. But I have encountered some great leaders and people-tending shepherds in my lifetime. Sadly, I have also encountered many in leadership positions – positions granted them by title – who were not leaders.

In business, we need to be leaders who exhibit innovation, sound fiscal management, and vision to watch over the business, and we need to be shepherds who watch over the people in our charge. So, I want to offer up another word: guardian. Like a shepherd, a guardian protects those in their care, but beyond that, a guardian may assume responsibility for guidance, fiscal stability, and preservation. No matter which word you choose, manipulator should never be a part of the description or definition.

Leadership is a hard, often thankless, state of being. Great leaders understand that those around them are the key to success. However, people who are leaders by title only seemingly believe that they are the key to success, and those around them are simply tools to be used and manipulated at will. In short, they see themselves as puppet masters, putting on a show for their superiors or the board of directors.

Now, go be a true leader, shepherd, and guardian. The world needs more of you.

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